Oooh it takes a Montage

Well Rocky had a montage and the way I see, i want one too, this will be one of the shorter blogs as for those familiar with montages will know they don't take long at all.

Now the plan is the blog to be popular with friends and family, then I get home and send it to a publisher and then it turns into a book. The blog gets changed by the editor to make a beginning, a middle and an end to make sure that the protagonist goes through some sort of journey. Then the book gets taken by an up and coming screen writer all the names and events that happen in the book will be changed and the location will move into America and they will add new people into the story, there will be a love interest also a hapless to bring in a best friend to bring in some light relief and then the end product will be nothing like the original blogs.............but I promise you this there will always be time for a montage.
Now all this is a reference to the film Team America, and if you have not seen it well shame on you, because its fucking hilarious. In the film there is a scene where they take the piss out of montages in movies particularly the Rocky movies where there is a Montage in each one (everyone has their favourite, mine is Rocky 4 where hes training in the Russian wilderness carrying a cart on his back) and in this part of the journey I have to face certain challenges and at the moment im doing Ok but I need a montage to speed the whole process up.
The first and biggest challenge is the bath, my oragnge bath. When I first saw it my flatmate told me that it was supposed to be that colour as a result of it being so old, on closer insepction (and scrub) I saw a gleam of hope, a white streak in the middle of a world of orange. So I bought some cleaner stuff and wnet to it. Unfortunately for me, years of being a lazy bastard when it comes to claening has taken its toll and it doesnt help that im buying cleaning products in Latvian as i don't have a clue what im buying or what the directions of use are, so i gave it go....................It took me a whole fucking WEEK to clean that bath. And to be honest its not perfect by any means, I mean i look at my dads cleaning credentials and they are good, the man knows how to clean, he cleans everything. He even used to go his friends house (James) along with my mum and give his house the Short treatment, and everytime i look inside that bath and see my murky reflection looking back at me I dont see triumph but only my fathers bitter disappointment.
But I wont give up, I wont give in i will clean that bath tub if it kills me, it will be whiter than white, this will be my 16th chapel, my Mona Lisa, my Sgt Peppers, my bathtub masterpiece. All I need to do is find a mentor every good montage has a mentor, I need my own Micky, Mr Myagi or best of all I need a yoda...............................Actually even the two blokes that dress up as women in the bounty adverts would be a blessing,
The challenges keep coming here in Latvia and I suppose all you can do is take them head on. I cant speak the language, there is no good veggie food, its freezing now its time for the montage, clips of my Latvian lessons, Clips of me chopping onionš, at first its shit but im gradually getting better, I burn the rice when i cook but after getting some advice from a friend (thanks Nat) It starts to turn into edible food, there will be a scene like in Rocky where hes in a meat locker punching raw meat but instead ill be in a field punching raw turnip. There be short clips of me trying to clean the bath, swearing nearly being defeated by this cold metallic batsard, Mr Muscle will put his head around the door and shout get up you BUM...............and clean it I will .

As i said this was a quick blog this time around because I have many tales to tell but with all different types of themes, the next blog will be the Epic "Ēvery one knows Chuck Noris' this will deal with my first Saturday night out in Latvia plus my Interaction with people and even meeting some of Latvia's most famous musicians and not having a clue who they were.